Neurotic Dad

The journey to parenthood. And irrational fears.

Jul 27

Scheduling: A Playlet

WIFE: I need to do that thing at 2:30 tomorrow.

ND: Go to the dentist?

WIFE: No, but I do need to go to the dentist soon.

ND: It was a joke. 2:30? Tooth hurty?

WIFE stares blankly at ND, her face betraying nothing, while her psyche brims with the futility and discomfort one feels when encountering profound stupidity.

-End of Play-

Jul 26

Saturday Toddler To-Do List

  • Fall asleep in stroller
  • Wake up and yell at daddy for 20 minutes
  • Stumble to bed & fall back to sleep

Jul 25

Tumblr Good News Project #3

dlintherealworld is getting a bird or something!
I signed my new lease and was able to get my rent lowed by $200 AND she’s allowing me to have a small pet. Not a dog but anything that will stay in a cage 100% of the time
tacosaysroar plays boss-approved hooky!
Good news! My Uber Boss is on vacation this week, so the Immediate Boss let us out early today. Now I’ll have time to change and pick up flowers before heading to a friend’s house for dinner (which is also good news)!
And Neurotic Dad got a free pair of prescription sunglasses today! Free if you don’t count the thousands he pays in premiums every year! Wait, was that good news? Shit this is harder than I thought.

Jul 24

Tumblr Good News Project #2

I am about to have a glass of wine!

Tumblr Good News Project #1

This from aubreysadventures

My little girl turned 3 today. I successfully raised a 3 year old human being and no one got hurt in the process.

This from me:

I haven’t been trolled by gun advocates all week!

I await your good news!

Jul 23

Announcing the Tumblr Good News Project

The world is going from bad to worse. So I propose that you message me good news (or reblog and add your good news) and every couple of days I’ll assemble it all into a post.

We’re not going to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that everything is great. We’re just going to spread some light. Doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, and one sentence will do.

I’ll start: Neurotic Dad is very proud of his wife, who is working her ass off to bring in money and get her creative projects off the ground.

Jul 21

3 Things I Don’t Regret

  1. Taking time away from my extended family to focus on my wife and kid and my own mental health
  2. The outrageous quantities of alcohol and unhealthy food I consumed last weekend at my annual camping weekend with my college buddies
  3. Barcelona, 2007

Jul 17

I Don’t Feel Very Good About Humanity Right Now

In the past week I have seen video of children running from bombs, children killed by bombs, children screaming for their dead relatives killed by bombs, children cowering from rocket fire, children in overcrowded detention facilities.

This in addition to the usual helpless victims of hunger and abuse.

Meanwhile everybody wants to make sure they have the right opinions so they can feel okay about doing nothing. Myself included.

Jul 16

Today’s Neurometer Level As Indicated by Quantification of Irrational Fears

1 = completely rational fear
10 = completely irrational fear

  • The increased police presence in New York City, including patrolling helicopters, indicating an elevated threat of terrorism
    Irrationality Level (IL) = 1
  • My kid hurting himself badly at day camp and needing to go to the hospital and crying out for his daddy in pain and fear
    IL = 3
  • My writer friends secretly believing that I am a talentless hack but saying nice things about my work because they like me
    IL = 5
  • Dropping dead of a heart attack while playing with my kid in the sandbox
    IL = 7
  • Spending the rest of my career on the fringes of the publishing industry, a respected but obscure figure
    IL = 4
  • My son growing up to hate my stinking guts
    IL = 8
  • Not bring able to lose 5 - 10 lbs
    IL = 5

Today’s Neurometer level: 4.714

Comments: Those of us who tend to worry are perhaps helpless to prevent irrational fears; and yet by identifying them as irrational we can, with practice, reduce their impact. Thus we can approach equanimity not by expunging the damaged parts of our psyche, but by accepting them.


Jul 15

Stop the Opinionating About Israel and Gaza and Do This Please

The Internet is like a huge room where everybody is yelling at each other while wearing earplugs.

Instead of taking an hour to craft a post about the war in Gaza that won’t do a fucking thing for anybody, let alone change someone’s mind, I donated $10 to Children of Peace, a UK charity that helps “establish projects and programs in the arts, education, health and sports for Israeli and Palestinian children, aged 4-17.”

The idea is to build bridges between hostile communities and to help relieve the chronic anxiety suffered by the region’s children.

The next time you are tempted to post your opinion about the conflict, please also donate to Children of Peace.

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